This invitational tournament is a 2 day event with 36 holes on Saturday and 18 holes on Sunday. This year's tournament will be at the Garden Valley Course in Tyler again. It will include the "Tequila Nine" on the second nine of the 2nd round. The tournament rules, regulations, contests and general information are described here and are subject to change whenever the committee decides ...... so deal with it.

We made this tournament an invitational to keep out players who are bigger assholes than the committee themselves. Kissing our ass will help, but not guarantee your chances of getting invited. So swallow your pride and pucker up. We have a lot of fun so it's worth it. If you have not completed an application, please do so by clicking on the link to the left.

Rules

These rules were agreed on by the committee and any future interpretation or changes must be approved by the same said committee (over beer and nachos, so give us some time dammit).

• Each player entry is $30. This covers par 3's, glow balls, goodie bag and tequila.
• Each player must bring a nice "gift" which will be awarded according to the rules section. Gift should have a $30-$50 Value.
• Tequila for the Tequila 9 and putting contest is now included in your cost. Feel free to bring extra though.
• Double shots are required on all Tequila Nine shots including the shots taken by all players on the 10th and 18th holes. See Tequila Nine rules below for more info.
• Double Par stroke limit on each hole.
• Each player takes 1 shot of Tequilia on the number 1 tee during Sunday's Championchip round.
• Each player 1 mulligan per 18. Mulligans may be used on any shot, not just a tee shot. No mulligans can be purchased.
• Winter rules.
• 2 club limit on shitty lies. No closer to hole.
• Each group must keep up with all player's scores. Any miscalculations will result in 3 stroke penalty.
• Anyone caught cheating on score or abusing club limit will be tagged with an extra 5 strokes on that hole.
• Play will be from white tees.
• In the event of a tie the winner will be decided on the most total pars. If still a tie, most birdies.
• No cross-body blocks on the green.
• ALL Putts must be holed out. NO gimmies. If you lip out a 1 footer, there is NO, "oh, please, I woulda made that". No, it's an extra stroke.
• Rain Rule - We talked about this every year but decided to add it for 2003 (watch it rain now). If 27 holes have been completed by the top 4 players, the tournament is valid and the golfer with the lowest score wins. In the event of a tie at 27 holes or more, those tying for the lead will play 18 holes locally for the win. If there is LESS than 27 holes played, the top 4 players will play 18 holes locally to determine the winner. Local course and date to be determined.
• Deposit - There will be a $75 deposit per player. FIRST 16 players only. This secures your spot and protects the other entrants from paying more due to less players. NO REFUNDS - the only exception is if we are able to make an approved substitution.
• Trophy - The trophy is awarded to the winner and is kept for 1 year or until the next tournament. Trophy must be surrendered to the tournament at that time. If the trophy is not surrendered, it will be taken from you in as painful a way as we can imagine.

Tequila Nine

• ALL PLAYERS take shots at the BEGINNING of the back 9
• After each hole, the player or players (in the case of a tie) with the worst score on the hole, take a shot
• ALL PLAYERS take a shot at the END of the back 9 - note this is IN ADDITION to the shot taken by the worst player in the group; so the player with the worst score will essentially take 2 SHOTS on the last hole
• Sympathy shots are encouraged

Handicapping

The PPP is first and foremost a hackers tournament. In order to keep it that way, players who have choosen to elevate their game will be penalized. Those who continue to suck, keep up the good work!

• To determine if a player is worthy of a handicap, the player's previous three year PPP average is computed. If that average is better than a 285, that player will have the difference added to their score. For example, if your previous 3 year average is a 273, then your current year's score will be handicaped 12 additional strokes.
• The handicap will be added evenly to each of the three rounds with any uneven scores added to the final round.
• If a player has shown that they are better than a 285 score, but do not have three years of prior PPP play to average, the committee may choose to assign a handicap value that they see fit.
  
  Players to be hanicapped for the 2010 tournament:
  
    Daniel R - 1 strokes
    Dennis M - 8 strokes

Contests

• There will be three par 3 closest to the pin contests. 1 per 18 holes worth $25 each. Hole #4.
• There will be 3 long drive contests. 1 per 18 holes. Prize described in next section. Hole #8.
• One putting contest after the conclusion of the Tequila Nine. Winner gets fourth pick of donated prizes. If only 1 person makes it, he is declared the putting contest winner. OR he can then decide if the wants to let anyone else back in for 2 shots. There can be strategy here to get someone more drunk.  Also for the first two rounds only, anyone can buy back in for 2 shots.  This will continue until only 1 person makes the putt. We'll draw for order as usual.
• Loudest Fart on Green - Who hasn't had the urge to blow one out of the canal while someone else was putting? In this contest the best ripper gets $5. If you push to hard and get gravy we'll make it $10. Proof is required.
• Shortest Drive- Hole #10 on 1st 18. Losers in each group hit from Blue Tee on next hole.
• One Club Hole - Hole # 6, on the 2nd 18 only. You must chose one club to drive, approach, chip and putt with for the entire hole.
• Heckle Hole - Hole #16 (or another approved hole) on Tequila 9 ONLY will allow verbal heckling. You must remain behind or beside the golfer's shot. No throwing of any items, but feel free to yell whatever.
• Glow Ball - There will be a Happy Gilmore style driving contest with glow balls on Saturday night.

Prizes & Playoffs

Grand Prize: Gets the coveted PPP trophy for one year, the coveted PPP Jacket, 1st pick of the donated prizes and $20 from the player who comes in LAST .

Player Prizes: The prizes brought by each player are handed out in the following order:

1. 1st Place
2. 2nd Place
3. 3rd Place
4. Putting Contest Winner
5. Hapy Gilmore Winner
6. 4th Place
7. 5th Place
8. 6th Place
9. 7th Place
10. 8th Place
11. 9th Place
12. 10th Place
13. 11th Place
14. 12th place
15. 13th Place
16. 14th Place

Cash & Other Prizes:

• Par 3 closest to pin winners: $25 each  (3 winners, 1 per 18 holes).
• Longest drive winners: $25 each  (3 winners, 1 per 18 holes).
• Poker winner gets 50% of the entry fees; 2nd place gets 30%; 3rd place gets 20%; There is a $20 entry fee per player
• Loudest Fart on the Green: $5   (see "CONTESTS" for details).
• Drunkest Bastard: Charter membership w/group counseling.
• Shittiest Putt: Gets laughed at ...... a lot.

Groupings

• First 18 - The first place finisher from last year will be cart buddies with the last place finisher. The rest of you can fend for yourself.
• Second 18 - All first place players in each group from the first 18 holes will play together, all second place players will play together...etc....for 3rd and 4 place. Last group could be short if all groups are not filled.
• Third 18 - Will be grouped according to score. Lowest 4 going in last group.

General Info

The first day will include 2 rounds at the Dogwood course ( I didn't name the son-of-a-bitch so don't give me any shit about it). The second day will include 18 holes of championship golf at the Dogwood course. This is rated as the #6 public course in the state. Killer course that will kill you if you suck. View their website at www.gardenvalleygolfresort.com.